21:17 Jesus said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you
love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love
Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love
You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep."
It amazes me how many times I
think I am ready to move on to the next part of the Story and God says
"Not so fast..."
I have just finished reading
through Genesis with someone I am studying the Bible with. The last section of
Genesis is the part of the Story when Joseph who is now Pharaoh's right hand
man reveals himself to his brothers. Then he tells them to return home and
bring back the entire family. The family moves to Egypt and the book ends with
Joseph dying of old age and just prior makes his family promise that when they
leave Egypt they will carry his bones with them.
The day Joseph reveals his true
identity to his brothers they are gripped with fear. The source of the fear is
guilt. The source of the guilt is their act of selling their little brother
Joseph to slave traders and telling their father Jacob he was dead. Now they
think Joseph will get his revenge. He assures them all is forgiven and he
won't. Fast forward several years and the family has all been living in Egypt. Their father Jacob dies. Again the brothers are overcome by fear and guilt and
worry that now Joseph will take his revenge. Again he reassures them all is
forgiven.
Do you see a pattern?
Peter has denied his Messiah, the
One who had him healing the sick and walking on water. The guilt is
overwhelming him. Jesus is trying to help him move past the mountain of guilt
and experience forgiveness. Peter is not there yet. Finally for the third time
Jesus asks "Simon do you even love Me as a brother?"
The text tells us that the
question itself grieved Peter. The word translated "grieved" is the
strongest possible word choice in the Greek language signifying deep, intense,
severe emotional pain.
Can I just say right here that
walking with Jesus is not all sunshine and daisies. There have been times when
I just closed the Book because it hurt too much to continue. There have been
times when I was afraid to open the book because I was afraid of what He might
say to me next. Why does Jesus do that? Why does He expose the most painful
corners of our soul? Wouldn't it have been easier if Jesus had just hugged
Peter and said "It's ok man. I forgive you. Just forget about it. It's all
in the past."
Easier yes. More effective? No.
When my day was teaching me to sand
on cars he showed me that you have to keep sanding until the spot is clean. A
tiny rock chip when sanded down could be as large as a twonie or more beneath
the remaining paint. Moisture travels from the tiny chip below the surface of
the paint and rust is occurring that isn't exposed until you start sanding. It
would be easier and faster not to expose all that hidden corrosion but what is
hidden will always come out sooner or later unless it is dealt with.
Guilt is like rust and cancer. It
works away at us from the inside out. Unless the source of the guilt is exposed
and dealt with it continues to do it's destructive work. Jesus loved Peter too
much to leave him in the condition he was in. Peter was stunted. He was
regressing back to the man he was before he met Jesus. Guilt was literally
killing him.
Peter needed radical
intervention. The bleeding had to be stopped. The only way to stop the bleeding
was to expose the wound. The wound was tricky. Peter himself was unclear where
the source of the bleeding was. See Peter believed his worth was tied to his
love for Jesus. He believed that his ability to love and be loyal to Jesus was
where his value as a disciple was. That is why his failure to man up and
support Jesus was so devastating. It wasn't just a mistake. It exposed him as
having no value.
Jesus countered this false
premise. He agreed with Peter that his love was weaker than he had thought. He
agreed with Peter that his love for Him was at best flawed but He didn't stop
there. He kept repeating "Feed My sheep."
Do you see it? Jesus is saying
"Your love for Me might be flawed but My love for you is unchanged. I
still love you and want you and have work for you to do. My love for you and
your value to Me is not based on the quality or quantity or purity of your love
for Me. It is unaffected by your failures or your resulting guilt and shame.
You have nothing to fear from Me Simon Peter. There may still be some Simon in
you. There may even be lots of Simon in you but My love isn't rooted in
that."
At the end of the day I think
this truth is the hardest one of all to believe and yet the most vital. We want
so badly to find within ourselves some compelling reason for our worth. We want
to earn the love of God and the acceptance of others but love isn't about that.
For so loved us that He gave His
only Son. Whoever believes in His boundless unchangeable love that is rooted in
His character and not ours will find in that love the capacity to truly live
and that life will last forever untouched by the killer ravages of guilt and
shame over what we are not.
Jesus loves us so much He is
willing to go to the messiest, ugliest, most painful corners of our souls and
do a work only He can do. He shines the Light of His love into our darkness so
we can shine again.
No comments:
Post a comment