7:32 But I want you to
be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the
Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about
the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are
divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the
things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who
is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her
husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you,
but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the
Lord.
36 But if any man
thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is
past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not
sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no
constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his
own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he
who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not
give her in marriage will do better.
Again crucial to remember that Paul is here giving his own
counsel and he has pointed that out himself. He does not want us reading this
as counsel from God. There are two things going on that are driving this
advice. One is that trouble is coming and he felt under the circumstances it
would be easier to serve God and navigate through that time as a single person.
The other factor was the brokenness of the people.
The whole tone regarding marriage is sad throughout this
letter. It paints marriage almost solely as a legal arrangement for sexual
gratification. I'm not convinced Paul saw it that way because he does
repeatedly say throughout his writings that the marriage bed is pure and that
getting married is not bad. His counsel to the church in Corinth was that
marriage is a good choice but remaining single is better.
I wasn't there. I don't know the whole story. That being the
case I am not going to judge Paul or the counsel he gave. Likely it was good
counsel for that time and circumstance.
What I would like to do is give my views on marriage and/or
remaining single.
Marriage entered into as a legal arrangement for sexual
gratification is better than running around. Science proves this from a
physical and mental health point of view. However it is a major disservice to
paint marriage in such a one dimensional light. The truth is if a couple gets
married for that purpose alone the marriage will either fail or be an unhappy
and unfulfilling one. Sex was designed by God. As such it is holy. It was
created to be the seal of the marriage relationship. It sets a marriage apart
from all other relationships. It forms a bond unique to any other relationship
and the statistics prove that it works. Less than 5% of couples who married as
virgins get divorced. To put a seal on something you have to have something to
seal. Kings used to seal all official letters and documents with their ring
presses into wax the hardened and made a seal. It signified who was sending the
letter and ensured that the recipient was the first to open it. A marriage
based on sex has nothing to seal. This is why sex is to be reserved for after
marriage. First you build the relationship and then you seal it.
Perhaps Paul was jaded by being surrounded by so much lack of
self-control. Perhaps he was trying to make the best of a bad situation. One
thing I have learned is that there is the way things are supposed to be and
then there is reality and reality must be recognized and faced while striving
to return to the ideal.
On that note let's not forget that God's ideal was marriage.
Before sin ever entered the human experience God's first negative statement
about His creation was "It is not good for man to be alone. I will create
an equal partner for him." Marriage was His idea and sex as the seal for
marriage was also His idea.
Paul's reason for championing the single life was increased
devotion to God. While this is practically true it lacks a side I believe needs
equal consideration. We are by nature selfish. We do what we want when we want
when we are single. Marriage teaches us to be less selfish which in my opinion
makes us more fit and able to be willing to serve God.
Lots to think about here. The Bible contains great servants
of God who were married and great servants of God who were single. If you have
an opinion on this I would be glad to hear it. :)
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