13:9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part;10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
This chapter on love is so rich we could spend weeks on it and in the end it may all have been foolish talk. To pretend I know much about love is practically fraudulent. So instead I will stick to the little bit I do know.
I know children know a lot less than they think they know. I know adults aren't far behind them. How many times have we made declarations in the field of medicine, or science, or health, etc... only to decide a decade or two later that the opposite is true? Of course we always think the current info is correct and laugh at the past until we find out tomorrow that what we were thinking yesterday was out in left field. How many of us ate dog food or cat food and thought it was pretty good and then later got embarrassed when Mom or Dad told the story? When we learn we put foolish ways behind us. To do that we have to learn. Learning takes time. It takes mistakes. It often involves pain. As a parent I know there are many things my children don't know yet. I don't love them less because of it. In many cases it means I have to give them more love and attention. A baby learning to walk needs guidance and a safe place to practice where the inevitable falls won't result in cuts from sharp corners or objects. Love doesn't prevent the falling. It's a necessary part of the process but love does ensure safe spaces.
Where am I going with all this?
The gap between us and God is infinitely larger than the gap between a parent and child. He does not prevent all the falls but you can rest assured He is right there rounding off the sharp edges. However that's not the amazing part. More than once each of my children told us they hated us. They were angry or frustrated or way over tired and in their condition could not understand the decisions we were making or the circumstances we were putting them in or choices we were making for them. It wasn't pleasant to hear but it never diminished our love for them. We knew if they understood what we knew their position would be different but they didn't understand and that's just the way it was.
There are times I see traits in them that are not lovable. Sometimes I only need a mirror to see where those traits come from. Still my love is not reduced.
Ever been angry at God and His bad timing or absence or silence or expectations? Ever been so angry you wanted to scream or perhaps did? Ever swear at Him? Ever tell Him you hated Him? Yes we grownups have temper tantrums too. I imagine that sometimes God actually laughs at us. Other times He probably just shakes His head. Either way He knows all and part of what He knows is how much we don't know...
We know in part says Paul but someday we will see Him face to face and we will know Him just as deeply as He has known us all along.
They say a true friend is one who knows all about us and loves us anyway. There is only One in the entire universe (or multiverse depending on your view of space) who knows all your thoughts and loves you no less as a result. You need hide nothing from Him for He knows it already and loves you just the same.
Now if that doesn't relax you and if that isn't a safe space to learn in, you need to think this all through one more time. You'll get there. We're all learning. :)